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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Breaking News: Minor Celebrity Tosser Becomes Yankee!


"It’s a great day for America. Particularly for me. There is a new American in town.
300 million and one. This is my first week as an American citizen. I was sworn in on Friday.
By the way, I’d just like to express my gratitude to all the people of America.
You’re probably thinking “Well there goes the neighborhood.”


Not really. What I was actually thinking was "There goes one less tosser that Scotland has had to put up with."

Craig Ferguson, that well known Scottish comedian, is now an American citizen.
Great.

"Who?" I hear you ask.

Craig Ferguson was a minor comedy celebrity in Scotland during the nineties. He then buggered off to The States in pursuit of 'The American Dream' and no one here really noticed that he'd gone. Living in the US is fine, many people do it, Malcolm McDowell, The Beckhams, even the Mr Claypole of the music industry, Robbie Williams, resides there, but taking citizenship is a different kettle of fish altogether. That is saying to the world that you believe in all the things that America stands for, all the beliefs and freedoms that it's people hold dear. I can only assume that these were the kind of bizarre beliefs that young Craig had growing up in Cumbernauld.

I've no doubt that he'll love the celebrity lifestyle over there where he can bore his L.A. chums with tales of beautiful Scotland, and about how much he loves the place, yet never to return.

Can't say I'll miss him.

Have a nice day, y'all!

2 comments:

A Ferguson Fan! said...

Scotland's loss, America's gain! Apparently, he's found his niche! Welcome,Craig! Americans love Craig.

Sky Clearbrook said...

Good for Ferguson! Good for America! Even better for Scotland!

I hated his '80s alter ego, Bing Hitler. I also remember the Melody Maker once describing him as a "leather jacket-full of bugger all" in relation to his presenting talents on some shite C4 music programme which I can't even remember the name of. That tickled me.