Virgin Media

Brrring Brrring, Click!

(Cue barely understandable ethnic accent)
"Hello and welcome to Virgin Media, how can I help you?"

"Hi, I've just upgraded to a High Definition TV and would like my free HDMI cable please."

"An H...D...M...I... cable, sir?"

"Yes. I'm a High Definition TVDrive subscriber and am entitled to a free HDMI cable, as per your website."

"Just bear with me . . . . how long have you had your TV package with us, sir?"

"Nearly 5 years."

"Just bear with me . . . . and your cable has been missing?"

"No, I've just upgraded my TV to a HD one."

"Just bear with me one moment . . . . is your cable broken, sir?"

"No, I never had a cable."

"Do you have TVdrive, sir?"

"Yes!"

"Just bear with me . . . . it comes with a HDMI cable, sir."

"I know it does! When I had it installed I didn't have a HD television, therefore I didn't need an HDMI cable!"

"Did the engineer not leave you a cable, sir?"

Decision time. Do I calmly answer my Asian brother's ridiculous interrogation, or do I go for the obvious "Do you think I'd be asking for a fucking cable if he'd left me one?!" answer?

"No. . . He. . . Didn't."

"Just bear with me one moment, sir . . . . ok sir, I will have one sent out to you within 5 to 10 days. Would there be anything else, sir?"

(Learn to speak English maybe?)

"No, thank you."

"Ok sir, thank you for calling Virgin Media and have a nice day."

Cunt.