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Tuesday, June 03, 2008


Charities. They do a lot of good work, I get it. They need pots of cash to do said good work, I get that too, but one of the charities I support, the Whale & Dolphin Conservation Society are really starting to get on my sizeable man tits. Every few months they call me up, hit me with some sob story about how things are particularly difficult right now and could I up my monthly contribution by another £10 a month?


Then I get yet more sob story followed by a request to up my contribution by another £5 pounds a month?


This didn't go down too well, neither did my question about why the charity weren't out recruiting new donors instead of begging to their existing ones like a friend with a crack habit.

I support a few other charities, one of which is Riders For Health, a charity set up by the legend that is Randy Mamola to help medical care get into the wilds of Africa. They never call me begging for more cash, they always thank me for my contribution, they send me a quarterly news letter explaining exactly where my cash goes, and rather than play the guilt card, they actually make donating fun.

I got so pissed of with the whale huggers that I cancelled my monthly donation today. I think the woman on the other end of the phone would have had less contempt for me if I'd called up and told her that I'd just had violent reverse cowgirl intercourse with the entire maternity ward at my local hospital!

It looks like Sparta, my adopted Humpback whale, is on her own.

Swim Sparta, swim!
Swim away from men with slanty eyes and Kung Po Chicken, my cetacean friend!!


Helga Hansen said...

It's not just the Japanese who desire Sparta... there are a couple of countries closer to home that would be interested, although we only go for minka :D

Oh, did I not mention? I'm a horrible whale-eating Norwegian...

Zen Wizard said...

Wouldn't reverse cowgirl intercourse with the entire maternity ward show that you LIKED whales?

thebiglumpousky said...

In the main charities I am sure good a good job, however there are also people who make a sizable income from representing these charities and I personally think that there is a severe lack of transparacy in relation to "where the cash goes" across all charitable organisations. Some of whom are better than others I would guess. Question has to be asked are you providing a nice wee blanket for Sparta during hte Winter or are you providing a new i-pod for the direcotor of the charity?. Anwser is that there will be a massive percentage of charitable donation which runs the charities and a very small percentage that actually goes to the causes themselves. Every man for themselves I say.

Helga go on girl - as long as there are sufficient whales in the oceans to keep the species alive then they are no better than cows. They are a form of food end of story. I'd pick on dogs and cats next as it would save them shitting all over the pavements and gardens

Anonymous said...

They do that with a health foundation over donate once, they expect you to donate twice and buy the poxy tea towels. Every year it's something else.

Inchy said...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not adverse to giving money to charities, but I certainly don't expect to be made to feel guilty about the ammount I give.