Driver, MOVE THAT BUS!

Now there's not a lot of choice on the TV at 1 o'clock on a Tuesday morning, so while eating my roasted cheese (Canadian Cheddar of course) with Worcester sauce, I had the misfortune to stumble upon an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which, as everyone knows, is more addictive than crack. Watch more than 10 seconds of this show and it pulls you in like the Death Star's tractor beam.
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it's like Changing Rooms but with the same budget as the NHS. This week's deserving home owners were two New York firemen who had been best friends since childhood, shared a 'Friends' style apartment, and happened to lose colleagues in the twin towers thing. They get sent away for a week, a thousand people rip their house to bits, the 'makeover team' put it back together, everyone is happy. Not only that, but they got a boat, and I don't mean a dinghy, I mean a cabin cruiser type thing that must cost a years salary!
Very handy in downtown Brooklyn.

Let's meet some of the team:

Ty Pennington

Ty is the screaming front-man of the show. Rarely seen without a loud hailer. Thinks of himself as 'wacky'.

Paul DiMeo

Paul is the father figure of the team. Can turn his hand to anything. Says "work with the grain" at least once an episode.

Tracy Hutson

Tracy walks around wearing a pink toolbelt yet never uses the tools. Bursts into tears on demand.

Michael Maloney

Michael is in charge of 'glamour' and has teeth SO white that they defy all known scientific explanation. He also holds the world record for being the 'Gayest Man Who Has Ever Lived'.

Personally, I'd just be happy for someone to come round and tile my bathroom.