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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Watch yer bike for a fiver, mister?

Lance Armstrong in Paisley.

I know, that just doesn't compute!

1. World famous multiple Tour De France winner, global celebrity, sporting legend and all-round top bloke who's made the greatest comeback from the jaws of death since Lazarus.


2. Paisley.
Erm . . .

. . . birthplace of Gerard Butler!

Now I don't know if you've ever been in Paisley, but it has no redeeming features. Nope, not one.
It does have a University however, but the disappointment faced by fresh students when they first arrive must lead to a great many drink related suicides.

Much like Lance, I've driven through Paisley with my mountain bike strapped to the roof of my car, but the truth is that you have to drive everywhere at 40mph because the kids can all run at 30 and they'll strip your bike like a chicken dipped in a piranha tank!

I think Paisley is best summed up with an old Scottish joke:

A man parks his luxury Mercedes in a Paisley side street. As he gets out of the car, a young boy shouts:
"I'll watch yer car fur a fiver, mate!"
"No thanks," came the reply with a smirk, "that's what the rottweiler in the back seat's for."
"Oh aye." said the lad, "Is it good at pittin' oot fires?"
PS - Good to see Graeme Obree joining in the fun.


Steve said...

The only connection I've ever had to Paisley was owning a Paisley shirt in the eighties. And I strongly suspect the design of said shirt had eff all to do with Paisley.

garfieldrannoch said...

I was there in person to see Englands rose open the Paisley centre, total coincidence , we were renevating flats directly across, prime view above the crowd, 1992! My gran used to live in Ralston, that's the posh bit!

Inchy said...

She was the People's Princess, Garfield. Never forget that.

Paul Cuthbert said...

I am a huge cycling fan, and Lance is the biggest reason for this. I have also lived in Paisley for 5 years.. and he picks the day I'm at home in Ireland to go for a ride in Paisley!


Inchy said...

Aye Paul, it's a kick in the bollocks alright.
Your tale reminds me of the time that Dee Hepburn visited our high school and I was at home with scarlet fever. That's probably why I've never watched 'Gregory's Girl'.