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Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Down Boy!

I've been very tired over the last week. Nothing unusual there you might think, but I become even more lazy than normal when I'm tired, at least that's the reason I'm giving for watching nearly two hours of 'Dog The Bounty Hunter' on Sunday.
Now part of me hopes that some of you have seen this show as you'll know where I'm coming from when I say that it is car-crash television of the highest order. The other part of me will be disgusted that you've admitted to being a viewer and I'll therefore form an opinion of you that will probably never be cleansed.

In case you've never seen this show, and I sincerely hope you haven't, let me summarise.
It is loosely described as a "reality" tv series, although clearly an alternate reality at that, based around Duane Lee "Dog" Chapman (above), a Honolulu bounty hunter and a man who can only be described as a cross between Chuck Norris and Peter Stringfellow, who has an unhealthy obsession with Native Americans and God, his wife Beth, a BBW, although in reality she only accomplishes two of the three prerequisites of that term, his sons Leland and Duane Lee and a host of other ingrates and hangers-on.

Now the term 'bounty hunter' conjures up images of muscle-bound action heroes who can take on a whole SWAT team and win, and on first glance Dog would seem to fit that image rather well. Here he is above with his trademark Oakley 'Thumps', his 'rippling' muscles, badge and holsters, which by law are only allowed to be filled with pepper spray and not Desert Eagles.
Unfortunately none of the 'perps' that Dog and his crack team of offspring seem to go after appear to be a threat to peace and quiet, let alone life and limb.
On Sunday's episode they apprehended a woman who was blissfully asleep when Team Dog "took her down" and escorted her bony ass straight back to jail.
Jail though was the least of her worries, for the good Reverend Dog has now taken to pointing out to these hardened criminals, once they are safely ensconced in the tiny space in the back seat of the SUV between him and the humongously breasted Beth, exactly where they have went wrong in life. This seems to have the desired effect on the villainous scum who invariably break down in tears at the realisation that they'll be getting no crack cocaine that evening. They're then comforted by words of wisdom from the mighty Dog who, as he is often keen to point out, has "been there man, and God got me through".

Job done.

I really don't know why people want to see this show, but want they do. Dog was filmed making racist comments in 2007 and the show was axed, only to return in 2008 after, bizarrely, an appeal by black leaders and after Dog had said sorry.

I think the real reason I watched almost two hours of this . . . stuff is that throughout it all I kept reminding myself that no matter how badly my life may or may not have turned out, at least I'm not like Dog The Bounty Hunter.


Steve said...

I've seen this show a couple of times by accident (read that as too lazy to reach for the remote and switch channels). You've summed him up nicely - Peter Stringfellow spliced with Chuck Norris. Colt Seavers this guy ain't. Pity he doesn't have Colt's blonde sidekick either... Jodie I think her name was. Ah... boyhood dreams.

Inchy said...

That'll be Heather Thomas then Steve.

Oregontribal1 said...

Dog the Bounty Hunter is NOT my favorite....would rather watch NCIS as opposed to this "crap".
And as for Beth his wife/girlfriend? She deperately needs to have a breast reduction in order to find a heart with some of these ingrates they "catch". Found your blog by the Black Box

Inchy said...

Welcome aboard, Oregon.