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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Mickey Mouse Is Evil. Official.

As anyone who's heard me rant before will know, I'm a big fan of the concept known as 'Common Sense'.
In fact, when I rise to power, it will be my mantra and the only law I'll bring in.
It works for 100% of the population 100% of the time, but let me highlight a wee chink in my sensible armour.

As some of you may be aware, there is talk of introducing aspects of Islamic law, known as Sharia law, into British constitution. I've had a car insurance quote from Salam Halal Insurance so I know what I'm talking about, but there are certain laws that just ain't going to work here in old Blighty.

Apparently mice are "agents of Satan" and should be exterminated on sight, which I'm sure came as a bit of a shock to Mickey & Minnie Mouse.
Sheikh Mohamed al-Munajid, a former Egyptian diplomat and popular TV cleric, thinks that:
"Sharia law calls for the extermination of all mice. That includes the rodents as well as the famous cartoon mouse"

No 'Disneyland Fallujah' then?

Come on, without Mickey Mouse we'd never have had the twin gifts of Britney & Justin, or the vocally gifted pop hobbit Christina Aguilera.

The world is clearly a better place for having had a six-foot make believe mouse that speaks like he's had a swift kick to the family jewels, in it.

Sing along: "M.I.C. - K.E.Y. - M.O.U.S.E.!"

26 comments:

charliemingles said...

you racist bastard

I'll have you know the fair people of Disney are from a noble lineage and have a rich vibrant culture to protect.

Why, the Disney quarter in my city is teeming with life. One merely has to saunter down one of its colourful boulevards to see spotty-faced awkward teenage Disney boys clad in the traditional shabby wank-stained Pluto constume with the head off (thankfully not a euphamism) to appreciate this fine and noble people. And scum like you denigrate them.

I shall recommend that they have you burned sir.

Yours
Anon

Inchy said...

I would prefer beheading.
I loved 'Highlander'.

charliemingles said...

I think the most likely outcome is that, having looked at your case, they would merely banish you to some god-forsaken, flea-bitten, hellhole in the arse-end of nowhere. But you already live in Falkirk, so there would be no point.

Inchy said...

Sir, you have insulted the honour of fair Falkirk Towne and I shall have satisfaction!

I challenge you to a duel.

First one to justify the expense of building the Falkirk wheel wins.

Inchy said...

Erm . . .



Bugger.

charliemingles said...

dont worry. I was born in kirkcaldy. I'd say its a draw.

PS: Ive never even heard of the falkirk wheel. But then again, Im not very well informed.

Thankfully, I dont need to be as I cream an absolute fortune from my investments, just check the old stock ....
aaaaaaaagh!

*leaps dramatically from window*

PS - saw your bike site, looks pretty good.

Inchy said...

Ahh, Kirkaldy.

Home to Jacki O's, if memory serves me correctly.

Thanks for stopping by, Charlie.

charliemingles said...

Jackie O's indeed. Unfortunately I'm old enough to remember the days when people from Edinburgh used to get the bus over to go to that place.

There was another one as well, but I cant remember the name. There used to be a tunnel you ran through at the start which was all the rave in its day - virtually industrial light & magic really.

If you were an Edinburgh secretary hoping to get knocked up by a drunk butcher's apprentice still wearing his apron, the blood glistening in the black lite as he body-popped away - then Jackie O's was the place to be.

EmmaK said...

This is an absolute disgrace. Whatever next, Sharia law banning minnie mouse sex costumes? This is the thin end of the cheese wedge. I don't think so.
http://www.msdanielle.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/h1.gif

Jaggy said...

Where exactly does Sharia law stand with regard to Moths?

And you're right Charlie, he is a racist!

Inchy said...

Monsieur Pot bonsoir, je suis Monsieur Kettle.

Inchy said...

Emma - When I rise to power I think I'd like you to be my Foreign Affairs Minister.

Ro said...

Any chance of the position of Chancellor? I know it's a disadvantage that I got a degree in Economics but I do have some very mouse-friendly policies ...

Inchy said...

Ro - I had you down for Culture & Sport, but if you want the Chancellor's job, u got it.

Do not fail me.

Bulldog said...

mice are crap!

Steve said...

No Dangermouse either I assume? No Mouseketeers? And the Pied Piper of Hamlyn is some sort of Islamic Saint? How ridiculous. Everybody knows that snakes are the agents of the devil - not the humble mouse!

Löst Jimmy said...

Inchy - re:Highlander "there can be only one" sorry I've always wanted to say/write that.

Actually I saw a similar video which it was claimed originated from a Professor in Tehran denouncing Tom and Jerry as a corrupt attack on the young and had real life links with the Great Satan, the US - they're words not mine

EmmaK said...

I would love to assume that position, and would insist on wearing the bunny outfit at all times.

Inchy said...

Ok, I'll take the obvious bait, I am a man after all!

Emma, any position you assume is fine by me!

Eostre said...

Holy crap! I mean I'm Muslim and all but honestly, what the fuck?

The mouse thing in Islam is because they were carriers of disease, it was a sort of ancient PSA. What a crackpot.

If they put out a Fatwa against Mickey, I'm moving to Canada. It was going to be the UK, but if they're planning to implement Sharia there...

Inchy said...

Hi Eostre.

As far as I'm aware it's simply at the discussion phase at the moment. I think it centres around where UK law and Sharia law clash that changes may, or may not, be made.

Tammy said...

You are effin' awesome. Great post!
Found your blog through that Black Box Widget thing.

Inchy said...

Thanks Tammy, nice to meet you.

Cynnie said...

god I'd kill for a cookie..

Ro said...

Chancellor, eh? Where do I put in my expense claim?

Inchy said...

Corrupt already eh, Ro?

You show promise, my young apprentice.