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Sunday, September 14, 2008

I Hate My Gay Neighbour

...but let me be clear, it's not because he's gay, it's because he, his 'chick' and all his friends, are arseholes.

Picture the scene.
It's 4:13am, I've been blissfully cocooned in cloud cuckoo land for about 5 hours when a loud banging pervades my vital slumber.
"What can this be?" thinks I, before realising that it's someone banging on Siegfried & Roy's door which is approximately 7 feet from my head as I lie in bed.
It continues for another 5 minutes.
On with the slippers and out I go.
"What the fuck are you doing, it's 4 o'clock in the fucking morning?!"
says I to the blonde party chick banging on the door.
"I'm trying to wake my friend, I've phoned and he's not answering"
says the tit.
"He's not answering the phone, he's not answering the door and his car's not there. He's not fucking at home!"
I point out.
The tit contemplates this information before staggering down the path and leaving.

This is the sort of thing I've come to expect from 'them'.
Dragging furniture across their wooden floor at 3 in the morning, flooding my kitchen by leaving their taps running (twice), burning wood, cardboard and rubbish when everyone around them has their washing hanging out to dry, having a new toilet suite fitted and leaving the old shit-stained one in the communal path for 6 months, parties, parties and more parties, etc etc, on and on.

Here's some funny pictures to lift my mood.


Jaggy said...

You're homophobic. You've made it quite clear you hate them because they're gay. Otherwise there was no need to bring up their sexuality in that post.

Just admit it.

Inchy said...

Don't try and transfer your homophobic tendencies onto other people, Mr Jaggy. Your cultural intolerance is well known.

Bulldog said...

and rascist! you couldn't have used an image of the only gay in a scotish village?

Inchy said...

I would have done, Bulldog, but I didn't have a photo of Jaggy to hand.

suzzieeeee :) said...

that was soooo funny
im new to this lol incase u thot i was bein random commentin lol

unique_stephen said...

The only part of having gay neighbors I don't like is when they both have a go knocking their bedhead against our wall. It takes twice as long as when their was a hetro-couple in there because they each have a turn.

Steve said...

Being woken in the middle of the night is a just cause for justifiable murder. And I'm a liberal for God's sake!

Inchy said...

Suzzieeeee - Welcome, and thanks.

Stephen - First time I heard Siegfried & Roy copulating it sounded like a WWE wrestling bout, right up until one of them started shouting "Yes!".
I'm still traumatised.

Steve - There ain't a court in the land would convict you.

Zen Wizard said...

I am truly lucky in that department--everyone in my apartment complex are Indians who are engineers for General Electric.

Ravi Shankar I don't think ever woke anybody up, ever.

But your neighbors really suck.

That's a bummer, dude.

Helga Hansen said...

That's a bummer, dude. No, Zen... Inchy's neighbour is a bummer...

Zen Wizard said...

D'oh!! Good one!

bigrab said...

It's not Colin and Justin is it?