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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Cassandra's Dream

Here's what Wikipedia has to say about Woody Allen:

Woody Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg) is an American film director, actor, writer, jazz musician, comedian and playwright. Allen's distinctive films, which run the gamut from intense dramas to screwball sex comedies, have made him one of the most respected living American directors.

Not in my house he ain't.
Whilst the above may all be true, after viewing his latest offering, Cassandra's Dream, perhaps he should now focus on playing the clarinet, and leave the film writing and directing to those who are actually any good at it.
The plot concerns two brothers, Ian (Ewan McGregor) and Terry (Colin Farrell) both of whom have their own dire money worries. They decide to seek help from rich Uncle Howard (Tom Wilkinson) who agrees to bail them out, but in return they have to kill someone. The rest of the film then tracks the two brothers differing reactions to what they have become. Ian is content with his crime, but Terry is plagued by inner demons. The film also follows Ian's relationship with his new and exotic girlfriend, a relationship that contributes not one iota to the story or plot!

It's shite. No point beating around the bush, it's just shite. This film sucks more than a $10 hooker. It's slower than a week in jail and seems to take forever to get moving, but by far and away the worst perpetrator in this cinematic crime is Ewan McGregor. I've now come to the conclusion that he's just not a very good actor.
I like the guy, but he was acted off the screen by Colin Farrell, and that's saying something! Perhaps he might want to stick to riding his motorbike around the planet..
The film eventually lurches from one tried & trusted cinema cliche to the next and ends up at it's entirely predictable ending. Thank God/Allah/Buddah/The Force.

I should have stayed at home and watched a CSI.

3/10

11 comments:

Roman Empress said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roman Empress said...

I have the opposite view of McGregor, he's a great actor but a dreadful ham of a person.

Jaggy said...

Black Hawk Down is on TV tonight, surely the pinnacle of Ewan's career. (Tongue firmly in cheek) I'll be watching the entire documentary from start to finish.

Inchy said...

Honestly Empress, this is not his finest hour.

Löst Jimmy said...

I was never a fan of Woody Allen's stuff, your review has just that argument with myself ;)

garfieldrannoch said...

Can you do a review of the big lebowski, then give me it back?

Steve said...

Proud to say I have never watched a Woody Allen film. Ever. Reading your review I'm liable to stay that way.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I think Ewan and Woody have both done really good things, but this is probably not them at their best.

I think you need to rent Trainspotting to restore your faith in Ewan and Annie Hall to restore it in Woody.

Then just rent Shaving Ryan's Privates for no good reason at all.

Roman Empress said...

The Dr speaks wisely. May I add 'Young Adam' as a great showcase for McGregor too.

Inchy said...

Trainspotting is a thing of genius and, living just along the road, I've been to more than a few of the places featured in the film, but all I'm saying is that, Renton aside, I can't really think of a movie where he's really impressed me, Lawrence Olivier stylee.

Ro said...

When I first saw his early stuff I loved it. Looking at it now, it mostly seems dated - I think it appealed at the time because it was ground-breaking stuff at the time. The problem, it seems to me, is that the world has moved on but Woody Allen hasn't - and he's found that his usual oil well is running dry.