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Sunday, October 05, 2008

Death Race

It was Saturday afternoon.
"Want to catch a movie tonight?" says I.
"Yeah, we could go and see 'Death Race' if you like." says The Demon.
"Erm....ok then." replies yours truly.

That was my first mistake.
The second was thinking that this film would be a decent way to pass 105 minutes of my life.
Oh, how wrong I was. They're gone now, I'll never get them back.

The film, like 'Taken' that I watched last week, follows the traditional Hollywood driving/action rules, in that to make a car go faster you simply change gear again...and again...and again, everyone who crashes and rolls a car survives only to be killed in the resulting explosion, no matter how powerful and fast your sportscar is, it can be caught and passed by a bloody huge pickup truck and the hero, as always, is imprisoned for a crime he most definitely did not commit.

The hero in this particular case is played by Mr Mahogany himself, the great Jason Statham.
You have to admire Mr Statham, taking up acting when he quite clearly suffers from Möbius Syndrome. Only the legend that is Nicolas "Sequoia" Cage can produce 'acting' of the calibre of young Jason.

In truth, it's a wonder that any acting took place at all on the set of this movie, given that people must have been drowning in a huge sea of testosterone.
The plot, for that I believe is what they called it, is quite frankly, dire.
I won't bore you with the details, but I'm sure you can probably make up something that's reasonably close to the real thing.

In summation, this film will appeal to you if you like fighting and stealing cars, or possibly both at the same time.
Anyone else, stay at home and watch Strictly Come Dancing.

1/10 - And it only gets that 1 because Joan Allen says "cocksucker" at one point.


Sky Clearbrook said...

Why do these kind of films always seem to feature Jason Fucking Statham (to give him his full name)?

Inchy said...

I'd imagine he's cheaper than Peewee Herman.

Steve said...

The original Death Race wasn't much of a film either... though on the plus side it didn't feature Jason Stratham...

Rol said...

I can honestly say that not even Ian McShane could have made me watch this. I had Statham with a passion. The original is a half-decent piece of B-movie cheese... besides, I felt like I'd seen the whole film from the trailer.

Inchy said...

The original is worth watching nowadays just because it's so damn weird. That's weird - good, not weird - bad.

You're right, Rol. There is NOTHING of note in this film that you can't glean from the trailer.

Note to self, use the word 'glean' more.