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Monday, October 27, 2008

Carlsberg Don't Do Stag Nights . . .

My sister will be getting married soon, so that means that The Mighty Stu will be having his stag night. This got me thinking about who I'd like to have on on my own ultimate stag night.
I'll assume that all my male friends, colleagues and relatives would be there, but which 6 personalities, alive or dead, would I love to have along for the ride?

1. Oliver Reed
It's easy to disapprove of his lifestyle, but no one can dispute that Oliver Reed lived his life his way, and had a damn good time doing it. The ultimate Best Man.

2. Dara O'Briain
A good laugh is an essential part of any successful stag/hen night, and who better to deliver them than the Punch It Chewie! comedian of choice, Dara O'Briain.

3. James Hunt
All the chicks love a Formula 1 driver and James Hunt did his best to love them all right back. A well known hell-raiser away from an F1 car, he'd be right at home on my prenuptial celebrations.

4. Robert Burns
Scotland's favourite son and a man who liked his women as much as he liked his drink.
I can only imagine the poem he would write after our night on the tiles.

5. Valentino Rossi
The One True God and without doubt the most gifted motorcycle racer the world has ever, and will ever, see. Is he gay, is he straight? Who cares. In my life he's a living legend.

6. Stuart Adamson
The Big Country front man left this world WAY too early in 2001, so if I could I'd definitely want to share a beer with him. It's the least I could do to say thanks for all the pleasure his songs have brought me.

All in all, I'm pretty sure that this would be a stag night to remember. It almost makes getting married seem worthwhile.


Steve said...

Stuart Adamson is dead? I really had no idea. That's amazingly depressing. Must have missed that at the time.

Ollie Read would definitely be the party guest of choice. My favourite Ollie story is when he was asked to sign his name in some cocrete and was so drunk he wrote "Olive"...

Inchy said...

'Fraid so, Steve. December the 16th, 2001.
He was apparently a tormented soul towards the end of his life and the impending divorce from his second wife seemed to be enough to push him towards suicide in a Hawaiian hotel.
Sadly missed.

Much like Ollie Reed in that respect.
My favourite Ollie story features the huge mansion he lived in, Broome Hall.
He'd hired a helicopter crew to film the building from the air, but when the chopper turned up, hovering above the house, an intoxicated Reed, wearing no more that a dressing gown and slippers, started taking pot shots at them with his shotgun.
All crew survived.

Charlie Mingles said...

I'd agree over Olly Reed, but not those other dull bastards. theyre more likely to get everyone leaving. especially stuart adamson. the sexiest girl I ever met was a goth in tigerskin leggings and shed shagged stuart adamson - the bastard. thank god hes dead. if she wasnt now a complete hound id have my chance at last.

Inchy said...

Charlie - she probably just shagged him to piss you off.
You should send her a signed photo of yourself in a Jim Bowen style saying "look at what you could've won".

Misssy M said...

Would you all go karting?

Inchy said...

Of course we would, it'd be pencilled in between 'tomfoolery' and 'pillaging'.

Misssy M said...

Just to let you know-visiting via Google reader! Success! I can hardly contain myself.

Inchy said...

Good old Jaggy, he's like an old, damp sheepdog. Reliable, but just a wee bit smelly.

Zen Wizard said...

Small world on Stuart Adamson: He was apparently last seen in this bar in Atlanta where these guys here are always trying to get me to go.

These chicks that work here play Australian football whatever the hell that is. They have fundraisers at that Fado's Pub for their team. Q; "Are they hott?" Answer: They play football. This one chick is always talking about that Fado's Pub. It is alright but not that great.

I have been there a couple times but back when he went there it was a real pain in the @$$ because it was Buckhead--which was sort of like the French Quarter in NO without the history, culture, or redeeming social value--with the parking and whatnot. It was $20 to park there--which is still a lot but was really a lot in the early part of the decade.

Fado's Pub is the only bar that survives in Buckhead. They closed all the other bars and made it just a rich guy/condo/shopping place.