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Friday, August 29, 2008

All aboard the bandwagon!

Never one to miss out on a good bandwagon, I'll shamelessly jump on the Jagmeister's 'Over-Rated' post and list a few of my own. Here's my list of things I consider to be overrated or just plain shite:

1. Social Networking. Great, you've made contact with people you haven't seen in years but didn't really miss in the first place.

2. Cats. Why have a pet that doesn't like you and will maim you as soon as look at you?

3. Reality TV. "Day 472. Shabazz blows his head off with a sawn-off shotgun. No one notices."

4. 4x4's. Great, you have a low ratio gearbox and big tyres. When was the last time you went off road with it?

5. Sushi. It's raw fucking fish! You'd be just as well eating uncooked fish fingers.

6. Detoxing. You're fooling no one.

7. Bluetooth Headsets. Looking like a dick is the price you pay for daring to believe that you are popular/important enough that people will need to talk to you ALL THE TIME.

8. Hair. I got rid of mine ages ago and life is so much better for it.

9. Designer Clothing Shops. Pay £50 for a t-shirt? Not any more, TK Max is my church.

10. Camping. Fuck that. No way, never, not unless hurricane Sanjay blows my house down.

11. Religion. It's for the hard of thinking.

12. War. There have only ever been two worthwhile wars. One is by U2 and the other is by Edwin Starr.

13. Yoga. You're not doing anything, you're just sitting quietly!

14. Blogs. Come on people, you don't really care what I think, be honest.

15. Tabloids. Every single thing they print is twisted around someone's agenda.

16. Politicians. They all lie for a living, each and every one of the bastards.

17. Foreign Holidays. Explore some of your own country and history. Surprise yourself.

18. Microwave Ovens. Don't own one, never needed one.

19. Modern Art. Dear oh fucking dear, do not get me started.

20. Facial Hair. I hate shaving and if someone offered me a pill tomorrow that would guarantee that I'd never have to shave again, I'd take it.

21. Smoking. Why would you want to look/smell/taste like a fucking ashtray? Vomit inducing.

22. The Rolling Stones. Please, for the love of God, just stop!

23. Paris Hilton.

6 comments:

Jaggy said...

I happen to agree with most of them....except....

Hair. Hair's great, you try to make it sound like a choice.

Inchy said...

Trust me, now it's gone, I'd never go back, even if I could.

SPARSELY KATE said...

Yoga is just like sitting quiet. Hahah. Tell those poor sods who find themselves stuck on their heads and dilating their diaphragms :)

Steve said...

Sounds like a 21 point plan for a great new religion. You can sign me up, Inchy. But will I need to shave all my hair off like Sigue Sigue Sputnik?

Inchy said...

Kate - Please explain to me why I would want to dilate my diaphragm??

Steve - My respect for you would sky-rocket if you appeared in a new profile pic sporting a Martin Degville.

Ron, Apparently said...

Inchy, my skirt-wearing friend.I once shared your ill-informed opinion of yoga, until my jiu-jistu coach intordiced it into our warm-up routine. I, along with a bunch of significantly harder blokes, were knocked sideways by the effort involved. Don't be fooled, give it a shot then come tell me it's just sitting quietly. And I would recommend not wearing the kilt...
Modern Art.-Banksy, Jamie Hewlett. Nuff said.
Otherwise, spot on, young man. Specially the Cats. I hate the bastards.