Top Tottie Tuesday: Nov '08

This months unattainable tantric yoga partner is the lovely Jessica Biel.

I've mentioned my "appreciation" for Miss Biel before, just over a year ago in fact, but she's definitely worth a second look.
A model, a singer, an actress and a woman that looks just as good leaving the gym with no make up and sweaty armpits as she is strolling down the red carpet for a Hollywood première. Is there no end to her talents?

She's been in a good few movies by now and, in my opinion, she's given a good account of herself, but she has also been in two of the worst films of all time, 'Blade:Trinity' in 2004 and 'Stealth' in 2005, stinkers both of the highest order.
She's currently hated by women the world over for being the personal 'squeeze' of Justin Timberlake, but that just shows me that underneath all the manufactured personna he actually has good taste.

Well done young man, I salute you and despise you in equal measure.

For the love of God, hang up!

I love shit films. Most of my DVD collection would be regarded by many as being shite of the highest order, but I love them. Films like Dune, Real Genius, and Legend, all of which bombed at the cinema, but in my little world have something redeeming about them. Unfortunately the film 'Cellular' won't be making it into my DVD collection despite meeting the shite criteria, and having William H. Macy, Jessica Biel, and Kim Basinger in it.

This film is beyond bad. It's just shit.

I shall explain.

Kim Basinger, who is just ridiculously sexy throughout, is kidnapped by the lump of mahogany that is Jason Statham and his merry band of thugs. Locked in an attic, she manages to make a smashed phone work, and instead of dialing 911, or the FBI, or even, I dunno, HER HUSBAND, she calls a number at random and gets through to random stranger Chris Evans of Human Torch/Fantastic 4 fame. What then takes place for the next 90 minutes or so is some of the worst acting/dialogue/plot that I have ever come across, and features product placement by Nokia and Porsche that even a blind man could spot. Young Chris, naturally, races to help poor Kim, and, as I'm sure we all would faced with a team of ruthless armed men, decides to 'have a go'.

Dear oh dear.

There's a fine line between 'shite' and 'cult'.