Radio Gag Gag

We're normally a BBC Radio2 factory, but for some reason we've mostly been tuned into Real Radio at work this week.
For those of you who have never experienced the aural "pleasure" that is Real Radio, it's a commercial station populated sycophants, has beens and drama queens who all float around safe in the knowledge that there is no one in Scotland more popular, funny and damn well talented as themselves.

I'm fine with that of course, because it's the job of a popular radio station 'dj' to be a bit "wacky" and be "a bit of a character", but this week the station is staging the annual 'Real Radio Renegade' embarrassment.
This is a competition that I can only assume is open to the unemployed and those out on bail, given that the rules involve you having enough free time to run around the central belt of Scotland (with or without your children) in an attempt to find, and indeed apprehend, said Renegade who leaves cryptic clues to his whereabouts via the hyperactive dj back in the studio.

Again, all good fun with the possibility of a cash reward at the end for the succesful punter who can then go out and buy booze and fags for his/her/someone else's children.

The real problem, and maybe this says more about me than anything else, is that the screaming dj actively encourages these 'people' to phone into the station where they are immediately put on the air. For example, and this is no joke, it happened this morning:

DJ: "Hi, you're on the air, have you spotted the Renegade?!!!"

*NED: "Pure spotted him oan the corner ae Union Street, he's got a gray jaikit (coat) oan man!"

DJ: "Why didn't you catch him then?!"

NED: "I'm in the back ae ma mam's motor, I'm oan ma way tae court"

DJ" "Oh that's priceless! If you'd caught him you might have paid your fine, ha ha!"

NED: "Aye man, ha ha man!"

Now I'm as patriotic as the next proud kilt-wearing Scotsman, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I was French.


*NED - A slang term for a Scottish urban youth who engages in hooliganism, violence and crime.