New Toys!

That's the new forks arrived. I decided to go with Rockshox Revelations, the 426 Coil U-Turn models to be exact, because they're a bit more sturdy than the dual-air version. They are considerably lighter than the Magura Phaons that they'll be replacing. All I need now is the new frame, new crankset, new headset . . . . . . . etc etc!

Batmen

I'm feeling particularly rough today, the hangover is in full flow, I can't sleep, and the clocks either went backwards or forwards by an hour so I haven't got a fucking clue what time it is!
Jaggy's Halloween party was a good laugh last night, despite there being a second Batman there! Yes, Jimbo from work had exactly the same costume as I had on, but everyone at the party knew that there was only one Batman. It has to be said though, that Jim did fill out his suit a bit better than I did!
Jaggy, on the other hand, spent most of the evening holding onto his facial hair which was trying to make a bid for freedom!
The comedian that Jaggy had booked didn't show for some reason, in his place we had a comedy impersonator, but unfortunately he could only do one impression, that of the Japanese TV character 'Monkey'.
Obviously we won the Pub Quiz, which I had been predicting for weeks.
A good night all round.

Glentress

During my habitual morning surf of YouTube, I came across this clip of the Spooky Wood section of the Glentress Red Route. I love this part of the trail, and this clip is a perfect example of why I love mountain bikes. From the picnic table at the top to the end of the run, you barely have to pedal at all, just let Sir Isaac Newton get you to the bottom at nearly 30mph. Airtime guaranteed.

Go big or go home!

The Dark Knight

Preparations are well under way for tonight's Halloween party at Jaggy Towers. Our hosts, Jaggy, Mrs Jaggy, and young Jaggy Junior, have insisted that fancy dress is compulsory, so I have decided that I shall be Batman!

I have to say that I'm impressed that the costume has lasted this long, because I've been wearing it as often as I can! It's totally cool, and appeals tp my "inner child".

The kids next door think it's the best thing since sliced bread, and I think that my comments to them to "stay in school" have sent them on the right path.

Just doing my bit.

Bohemian Clapsody

Legend!

I am The Stig!

. . . or at least I will be around Christmas next year! SONY has announced that Gran Turismo 5, due out in late 2008, will feature the Top Gear test track as one of its courses.

Superb!

You just know that there's going to be a Virtual Lap leader board in the studio!

Hey Hey! We're the Monkeys!

I'm sorry, I know that someone really has died, but how cool would it be to be

"KILLED BY MONKEYS!"

Delhi's deputy mayor, SS Bajwa, died yesterday as a result of "serious head injuries" after falling from his first-floor terrace while attempting to fight off a pack of wild monkeys.

"Fighting off a pack of wild monkeys!"
How cool is that!

We all have to go sometime, and that's definitely the way I want to go!

Morewood Shova ST

Oh joy of joy! After at least a fortnight of 'humming & hawing' I've finally parted with the cash and ordered myself a new full-sus frame. I had a list of about ten frames I wanted which I whittled down to five, then three, then at last it came down to either a Tomac 'Eli' or a Morewood 'Shova' ST. Both frames are pretty much perfect for what I do, but the Morewood is just that tiny bit more trick looking, with all that CNC'd alloy that I get a hardon over. Plus, I'm probably unlikely to spot another one, which is kinda cool.

To say that I'm fucking beside myself with excitement is an understatement!

I'll put up more pics when it arrives.

Caparo T1

I reckon there's at least 5 seconds off the Top Gear lap record with this thing!

I want one!

USA! USA!

After reading my posts over the last few weeks, you may be forgiven for thinking that I am a wee bit anti-American.

That is SO not true!

I love Jessica Biel.

She's swell.

The Church : Killin' people since the year Zero!

As I was driving home from work last night, I started listening to a fascinating discussion on BBC Radio 5Live regarding whether or not it was right to tell soldiers about to enter battle that there was no need to worry, because they'd be off to "The Afterlife" if they happened to bite a bullet. A bit of a cheek, as religion has been responsible for most wars anyway.

Now this got me thinking. I'm pretty sure that 'God', if he were to exist would probably frown on all the killing that said soldier may, or may not, have done in his career as a professional killer. In fact I think this 'God', whoever he is, was very specific about things like that. I do believe "Thou Shalt Not Kill!" was one of his catchphrases . . . . but no!

I was wrong!!

It turns out that what this 'God' fellow actually said was "Thou Shalt Not Murder!"

That makes it SO much easier to go to war!
Here are some other ways that I've come up with to say the same thing:

1. Thou Shalt Not Kill . . . unless the CIA want a regime change in the Middle East!

2. Thou Shalt Not Kill . . . unless he has more oil reserves than you!

3. Thou Shalt Not Kill . . . unless the other guy really deserved it!

Feel free to add your own!

PS - You may get a small hint from this that I don't believe in 'God', and you'd be correct. I believe in a principle known as 'Occam's Razor'.

"entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem"

This is often paraphrased as:

"All things being equal, the simplest solution tends to be the right one."

Which sounds more plausible to you?:

A. We were created in 6 days by a big white man who lives in the sky.

Or

B. We are a biological organism, just like any other, that lives, procreates, and dies. Full stop.

Call in your answer on 01 811 8055

Man Stuff

Feast you eyes upon my new paddock stand in all of it's brushed Aluminium and CNC cut alloy glory!
Marvel at the flawless matt-black anodising.
Gasp at the sealed bearing polyurethane wheels.
It could only be the Italians.

A thing of beauty!

Robby Moto Engineering

Jaggy

Kev (the geek-king that I work with) wanted me to put a link to his blog on mine, so here it is, but just for the record, I share none of his extremist views.

Jaggy

My Birthday

Well another year goes by, the sands of time have slipped through my fingers once more, and now I'm 37. Yes, I said 37!
I never thought I'd be this old.
I remember sitting in my Fourth Year Geography class talking to a girl called Tracy Turnbull (who I really fancied, as did almost every other guy at school!) and she had a boyfriend who had a car and was 20! I thought she was dating an old man, and now here I am, 3 years away from 40!

That really fucking hurts!

On the plus side, Carole got me an Aluminium rear paddock stand by RobbyMoto Engineering in Italy. Now that might not sound like much to you, but trust me, it's a CNC machined slice of alloy loveliness!
It should be a God damn ornament!

Thank God for the Americans!

Well I went to see the latest Hollywood blockbuster 'The Kingdom' at the weekend, and whilst I enjoyed it, I couldn't help but notice that the underlying theme of the whole movie is that all people in the middle east are incompetent murdering terrorist peasants, and Americans are better than them.

Now I'm sure that Hollywood views this as a gritty, socially relevant, drama, but my girlfriend's dad works in the middle east, and if I were him, I'd be walking around all day in my kilt wearing a t shirt that says "I AM NOT AMERICAN!"

Norick Abe

Well it looks like there's another name to add to The Hall Of Legends, Norifumi 'Norick' Abe was killed this week. That's WAY too many heroes gone this year. No more please.

The Greatest . . .

. . . Ever Movie Car Chase.

Thanks to Top Gear magazine, I found myself hunting through my DVD collection this afternoon, and watching the 1968 cop thriller "Bullitt" starring Steve McQueen. A film that features, unquestionably, the greatest car chase ever filmed.
I think it's the greatest for a number of reasons:

1. It's Steve McQueen, for God's sake! The coolest man to ever walk this earth, and the driver for most of the filming. A true petrolhead, McQueen was considered by many in the world of motorsport, on both 2 and 4 wheels, to be extremely talented.

2. The 1968 Ford Mustang G.T.390 Fastback is one of the coolest cars ever made, and the bad guy's 1968 Dodge Charger R/T 440 Magnum ain't too shabby either.

3. Soundtrack. As the build up to the chase begins, so does the music, but when Baddie No1 nails that 375BHP throttle, the music stops, and you're left with nothing but V8's and tyre squeal. 9 minutes and 42 seconds of magic.

The film is SO highly regarded by Ford, that every single variant of it's Mustang built from 1968 onwards, has been - and still is - available in a special "Bullitt" livery of black leather interior, dark grey wheels, and 'Highland Green' paint.

Sit back, turn the volume up, and enjoy.

There IS a God!

As I sit here, spitting bright green phlegm into a bucket, I find myself drawn into the world of internet news channels, and lo and behold, Britney has lost custody of her children!

Pause for irony . . . .



. . . carry on.

This is surely another example of the evolution of Man. In recent months, we've had Paris Hilton thrown in jail, Lindsey Lohan sacked by her employers, and now Miss Spears losing custody of her boys. All day-glo examples that we're finally growing tired of 'celebrities' having things their own way.

I've got my fingers crossed that a suicide bid, successful or otherwise, is just around the corner!

"Remember to get your whole mouth over the shotgun, Britney!"